We are inside of a huge energetic shift on this planet. The occurrence of worldwide lock-downs and the global effort against a common enemy – the corona virus has magnified a change which will never be undone. I am mindful to share posts and write blogs which remind those of you out there drawn to read them to embrace the vibration of love and battle the fear that these circumstances have culminated.
We each have an opportunity to re-evaluate what balance means in each of our lives. What priorities we want to continue to feed as we shift our daily schedules to accommodate something we cannot see and anticipate normalcy once its threat has subsided.
As I have gone through this process myself, I notice what prompted me to hear the melody within my own heart. I have shared personal parts of my story in other blogs. I have shared the difference I feel from almost every other human I have met. Of course we are all different, unique in our own beautiful ways. However, what I am referring to goes a bit deeper.
I spent a lot of time alone when I was growing up. It may come as no surprise that as an adult, I have also enjoyed solitude. I experienced a number of “paranormal” occurrences that I never talked about when I was quite young. My relationship with sleep and the dark were rather tumultuous as a result. I have also been and continue to be painfully sensitive. In addition to that, my physical differences also set me apart from others and I tended to keep to myself.
When I charged into the world, barely an adult, completely unprepared I found a huge obstacle in fitting in with others. This was probably the number one factor leading me to drink and do drugs. Navigating romantic relationships and adult friendships while attempting to please my family was not something I was prepared to do while I was doing it. Having propelled myself into motherhood I also felt a huge chasm between myself and other adults my age.
I quickly fell into the people-pleaser paradigm. I dedicated myself to others’ happiness. I had the mistaken desire to seek my own happiness in the happiness of others. I thought that if I made my partner happy, my family and friends happy, even strangers happy, that they would make me happy too. What I found instead was that partners expected more than I could give, family continued to judge, friends walked away and strangers could care less.
I tried everything I could think of to change this trap I had led myself into. I didn’t quite understand what was wrong. I should be happy, I had what everyone else had. I listened to what my family told me, what I learned in school, what was portrayed in media. After a lot of trial and error I learned that I would never find the love and acceptance I was looking for outside of me. Most importantly that love and acceptance could not be found within me until I learned to stop blaming my circumstances for my unhappiness.
I could share a list of things I told myself to validate my own discontent with myself. That isn’t the point of this message, the point is that I learned slowly over years that I am worth my own love and acceptance, I deserve my own forgiveness and understanding. Learning to embrace self care helped me learn how to love myself. Practicing meditation taught me how to forgive and understand who I really am. I stripped away every part of my life looking for a big answer.
By embracing the self I found there, vulnerable and alone I learned the best kept secret of life. There is a beautiful song inside of each one of us, the song of our heart the home of our soul. When we take the time and space to hear that song we can fine tune ourselves once again. We each have an opportunity to align ourselves with the frequency of love. Through the lens of unconditional love for oneself, we can nurture every being for the highest good.
Shorty's Hippie Haven 
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