Did you know that Kurt Cobain died on this day?

I am a huge fan of Nirvana, my fandom only kicking off after the demise of the band. Their songs still speak to my soul. Kurt Cobain took his life 26 years ago today. His tortured soul reflected in his songs may have lent itself to his talent but did not prevent his decision to take his own life. Suicide is the conversation no one wants to have. The darkness that surrounds suicide has made it almost taboo to talk about until it’s too late.

As today is the anniversary of his tragic death I find it quite the appropriate time to bring this conversation to the forefront. Suicide has reared it’s ugly head in my life in many ways. I struggled through much of my life beginning around age 12. I don’t tell people in my life about this, that is not what people do. For a multitude of reasons, I have struggled with depression and addiction and the overwhelming desire to end it all. I am grateful to say I have overcome all of these struggles and would never consider harming myself or taking my own life ever again.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, please know that you are not alone! Reach out to someone you love or call the Suicide prevention hotline 1-800-273-8255 you can also chat with someone online. You are loved and you are needed here on earth, please know that.

Another important reason for raising this discussion is that we are all experiencing a crisis together. While some of us are accustomed to spending a majority of our time in solitude, for others this confinement is unbearable. As we face fear and experience death we must remain vigilant as stories of suicide are added to the news.

Feelings of sadness, rejection, loneliness and hopelessness can grip us in the deepest parts of ourselves. Depression can quickly lead to addiction and in the presence or absence of addiction suicide can result from depression. This is a split second decision which cannot be reconsidered. The repercussions of this decision will impact far more people than you imagine.

I would like to share a few things I have learned on my own journey. Feelings teach us important lessons. If you are feeling large doses of any heavy emotion, dig deeper. Take the time to write about what you are feeling, compose a letter to someone related to these emotions or even yourself. Sometimes just writing things out puts them into perspective and helps us process those emotions. Keeping a diary or journal can be very therapeutic. Never feel obligated to share things you have written with others, this can just be for yourself.

It is okay to cry! As a very sensitive individual, I feel it is especially important to reiterate this. Crying is a constructive release of emotion and not something to be ashamed of or ridiculed for. Each one of us experiences our emotions differently and it is healthy to allow those expressions. Take time to yourself if you experience judgement from others. Extend love and understanding to yourself, you deserve it.

Do not underestimate the love of those around you, even if someone is angry with you no one wants to see your demise. We may say hurtful things when we are feeling hurt but that never means we want to see someone we love pass away. Talk to someone if you are struggling and if you feel you cannot trust anyone in your life with these thoughts consider talking to a professional, call 411 for local resources. It is okay to ask for help.

It is with great difficulty that I relate these facts, I now have two close family members who have taken their own lives. The heartache of knowing that someone you love felt so desperate and alone that they would choose to exit in such a sudden way is overwhelming. This type of loss leaves us wondering why, what we could have done and with a deep feeling of unresolved emotion. Please take the time to educate yourself regarding suicide prevention and share this information freely.